Fathers Day – It’s a funny old life when you think about it. Is it not any wonder why a great many of us go round with our head in the clouds trying to figure out why certain things go on in our lives which make no sense. One in particular that frustrates the brain is the saying “You will never know how much you love someone till their gone”, how can we ever know until an actual loss is suffered. Something like this is not what you wish for to find out. However, still a baffling quote. How you can love someone better if they are not around is beyond me. I have spent endless hours for a conclusion to this and I believe I have the answer.
Losing some one you love – close to your heart causes a type of pain which is hard to describe. It is a pain of persistence which can stay with you for many years.
When a person is alive it is so easy to take that someone for granted even though you love them with all your heart. Although this is the case in most relationships, we still tend to overlook important things that mean a lot, like telling that person in your life how much you love them dearly. I believe the saying “You will never know how much you love someone till their gone”, has stemmed from regret. Regret is a major issue in the life of some folk where they beat themselves up over not having done this, done that, said this or said that. If we had a crystal ball wouldn’t saying our goodbyes be so much easier as well as allowing us time to let our feelings be known.
The emptiness and bitterness you feel can be remedied in prayer. I know because I still live with the regret of not telling dad how much he meant to me. His death came as a complete shock; he was well and healthy only to drop dead at the age of 54. Why I ask myself were the words of “I love you” from dad never reciprocated by me, was I too busy dolling myself up to go out, was I too busy washing my hair or was I just plain selfish and lazy to make his day by saying I love you dad. Well you no what dad, I love you more than you will ever know now that you have gone, so there you have it – the saying holds up in truth of every word.
God our Father
in your wisdom and love you made all things.
Bless all fathers who have taken upon themselves, the task of parenting.
Bless dads who have lost a wife to death … or divorce who are bringing up children alone.
Give them strength and your love so they can become the loving, caring persons they are meant to be. Grant this through Christ our Lord. Amen
Origin of Fathers Day
Sonora Dodd is the woman we have to thank for giving us a day in remembrance of dads. We go back as far as 1909 for the beginning, sadly the fathers before that will have missed out on this special day. However if the kids back then told dad everyday that they loved him, then sure enough fathers day would have been every day. Sonora Dodd came up with the idea after her father William Jackson Smart, was left to raise her and five other siblings single handed after their mother died giving birth. What instigated this proposal was the mother’s day sermon she was listening to in chapel. Because Sonora Dodd’s father was born in June, she asked the churches in her area to honour fathers in June. Her efforts paid off and the first Father’s Day was celebrated in Spokane, Washington, in June 1910. Father’s Day did not become an official U.S. holiday until 1972.
Bereavement
It has been said that only the unloving and the unloved escape from the pain of grief. In contrast to this is that the more deeply we love the more severe also can be the pain of loss which may include divorce or separation from those we cherish. In some cases a loss can at times seem so unreal to the bereaved. This is an essential defence mechanism. The bereaved sometimes refer to somebody who has died in the present tense as though they are still alive. Familiar remarks are; ‘It’s not really sunk in. I can’t believe it, or any minute now they will walk through the door. More often than not it all hits home after the burial.. In mourning we often hear of god taking the blame ‘Why me’? When the sinners of the world get off Scott free, I ask you god for an explanation. This can be triggered off by being angry with ourselves thinking of the missed opportunities or things we wished had never happened
These are all normal emotions that can affect anyone. If you find it hard coming to terms with the death of a loved one – you are not on your own; this is a natural part of the grief process for some.
Helpful resource centres below
National Association of Widows, 54-57 Alison Street, Digbeth, Birmingham B5 5TH Tel: 0121 643 8348
Age Concern, Bernard Sunley House 60 Pitcairn Road Mitcham Surrey CR4 3LL Tel: 0232 245729
Compassionate Friends – For bereaved parents 6 Denmark Street, Bristol BS1 5DQ Tel: 0272 292778
Cot Death Helpline Tel: 0171 235 1721 (24hrs)
Cruse Bereavement Care (N. Beds) For bereaved people Tel: 01234 340321 v
SANDS (Stillbirth and Neonatal Death Society) 28 Portland Place, London W1N 4DE Tel: 0171 4365881
Fabulous gift ideas for dad on Fathers Day
1 Plant seeds for the garden
2 Bottle of vintage port
3 Bottle of fine malt whiskey to warm the blood
4 Car accessories make great gifts
5 Fountain pen
Personalized Calendar or mug
Make dad feel special this fathers day by telling him how much you love him and that you will pray for him to stick around for many years to come so you can hold him and hug him along with planting big sloppy kisses all over his face.
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